# 1

Yeah we had this t-shirt making competition . I was late yeah late and I made that Tshirt within 20 mins or so but not a minute more ..
And the second pic is Domino`s pizza Chilli flakes. Just a weird cell inside my head made me do all these.Else most of the time I am a sane guy..

Whoa-oh-oh oh-o

10.00 am Good morning blog . Today is 30th march. This month is too ready wrapping itself. This month too slipped without leaving much of mark in my life. So may be everything for some good. I don’t want to have any fantastical grooves but there is no point in finding meaning to everything. Its okay in life to be sometime meaningless and purposeless. Few clichés and few unhealthy relationships this month. i dunno how things intervene without much of my conscious level. I still don’t bear the spot inside my head where this weird sense took its birth and escalating as i am heading up my head high. Najanu kor pora ei bur kotha mur murot khumai ase. Hobo aru ki nu korim. Chali thakibo diya jane choli ase. Morning rise is always cool. I can see some puff of threadbare of clouds drifting over deepening blue sky. It can`t rain in this season how come clouds... *goes to college*

Evening Time -6.07 pm back from college. I was sipping tea with some friends. People are frigging mean. Like the way they talk, like the way they put their sweet coated words. I loathe such mofo. Be true ,be sharp. i was about to go to malad this afternoon after lunch to buy some raw material for my project . Sir paid me 3625 rupees in cash. After lunch i headed to the local train station. I got call from my batch mate that sir has paged him and summoned me asap. I dunno what plumbing urgency he got. When i projected my self into cabin..sir said he got me some granules and asked me to go to that shop tomorrow and get yourself more material. ah its was smooth this time.sir behaviour was reeling in a awfully candid way. I was un-hooding a smile like a dentally charged light when i am out of his cabin. All were gobsmacked by the way i came out. My joy was clawing some intrusive nature into my friends head . Finally time is falling in their place. I will be getting little more free material from reliance industries. I will be giving a letter to those industries guys.

Hmmm we got some college hostel fest going on. ah straining my brain cells to write something. This college hostel fest . yeah i eavesdropped that will stream munna bhai MBBS like an open theatre underneath the colorblind sky. I have never experienced such thing in life. I have seen those masked theatre performance back in assam, mask from assam are world famous. My head is now over loaded with stuffs.. everything is fine till now. i want to write all . a plethora of unheard whisper drivelling from my barbed mind. First i will take a shower.. Mumbai is just like guwahati expect the temp. Mumbai humid makes me sloppy within mins and i dunno like this chiiiip chiiip wala feeling. I was sitting in collage (more of that i guess or a parapet )stile for a while,soaking the enchanted sun. I was subjected to cacophony of some coeval people. Talking so much technical stuffs ,my head oh god seems to get pangs of anxiety hearing to them. Fine fine desperate time do come with desperate measure. Kashif was a true savoir . I deserted that place asap. Now I can teeter around with sanity. That company was getting all murkier. Really people should be in a company which suits them,else phew you will be bored. but its the irony of life. We spend money which are not ours (students not working wala) to buy things which we actually don’t need (like buying branded clothes) to show to people whom we actually don’t like. Friendship should be free from all such trifle . friendship is beyond words.the language of friendship is not words but meanings said- Thoreau

we all have reached such a position where we make friends just to use them. Friends should be like tree always protecting you . anyway why on earth i am writing all these. Maybe topic is skimming to the creek of nonsense. Ah i need to switch on the lights. Darkness seems to pierce my room and darkness seems to paint my rooms canvas into a vague blur. I can’t actually see my laptop key board. The low lights mourns in a sombre echo and my things lay around in mustiness. Sky is always there by the evening time sketching the sapphire dome with serenity. Mind captivating ...I can spend my lovely evening gazing at this sky. And as the dusk prevails and then darkness descends, the star adorns the dark blanket in a mesmerising way. Spell bound. But city night often make us not to see all these. My mind is floating now. ah i need to go now..get to take a bath and rush for college I will stop here for today ..i need to go out now. i am gutted still.. bye blog

nothing serious

`Here i go again` by white snake(david lee roth) is been played on a loop. After ages i am listening to this song. Ah i used to listen to this song a lot back in guwahati as a teenage. Those classics bands have always been my favourite like metal church,queensyrche, scorpions,def leppard, pink Floyd, van halen to name few.. many name are there on drop of my hat. . my ears got new taste these days.. i am experimenting more on progressive rock like karnivool , a perfect circle, blackfield,PT, pain of salvation,psychotic waltz,tool... these music are kinda shitty except for some track .. lyrically they got this artistic binge.. quite arcane with the texture and the sculpted words. In a nutshell I like it..till now i have consumed three cup of tea. God a lazy day seems to be fuelled by a scalding cup of tea to rejuvenate my body. I was like a white rabbit tethering and dithering here and there. I am wasting my time..so here i go again..

Changing track to Alice in chains ` would`.. Awesome track .. God what the fuck is wrong with my taste these day..i seriously need to mull over it. Its 12.50 pm just coming back from college. My guide is absent today. I m back in my room an extension of myself. I feel like doing nothing. Ah i am hungry and my stomach hurtles in emptiness. I can feel it. The sun is quite annoying today. This flicking climate change is beyond mumba devi trajectories to fathom.lol Ah global warming wrath. The rays casting melancholic shadows around me. work from college seems to the least fav configuration that my head can take.. and every time i tuck a single notebook into my bag i exactly know what i am going to do with it. I am not going to do any justice with them. I am wasting one more day. I wasn’t looking. What i am going to do for the rest of my day. *scratching head* . a novel maybe hmmm lets see...

Right now i want to be near a long river and sit on a stone and introspect my slipping life. Thank god i got a blog when i can discern what i actually feel. My feet are wobbling underneath this wooden shrine, i mean table. The natural heater is on and i am not putting on my ceiling fan. I like it that way. It's all warm and toasty now. i am all sloppy, no worries i will be wearing my deodorant after a shower.

Its 1.00 pm and i am bouncing back ..need to gorge some hostel food which taste so soggy yet i have to.. i am out of money these days.be parsimonious for some better good. All spend for making that something.. and haven’t asked my sisters or mother for any financial aid plus i know they wont bequeath me any of it. I have already wasted a lot.. Hope everything revert to normalcy soon.

Damn where i kept my notebook. I cant find it. Ah i don’t wnat to move. Maybe this laziness has strapped me to immobility. Scared to ruffle my all paraphernalia. Good where the fuck is it. Maybe i am learning the mean to be alone. God no more coldplay or death cab music. Ah i am sweaty and i can feel the salty tinge as i move my fingers over my neck.. gross . these reminds me of Goa , that beach .. a wisp of vague recollection. I wrote something about it on paper i dunno where i lost that ..anyway seriously bye bye*track change to deftone`s My own summer, i <3 this song chino monero u rule man *

Hey you, big star, tell me when it's over

Hey you, big mood, guide me to shelter,`Cause i'm through when the two hits the six and it's summer

Cloud,Come

I think god is moving it's tongue

There's no crowd in the streets

And no sun in my own summer

The shade is a tool, a device, a savior

See, i try and look up to the sky

But my eyes burn

Bye for now dear blog.

demystified

It seems i need some more recalibrated form of myself ..i have sorted out something for self upon which i am ought to tread. Few sturdiest regime for the time being ..

1. don’t read novel/magazine .stick to blogs and short snippet..write more..like a page everyday.

2. do regular push up.

3. chant hare-krisna mahamantra everyday four times(108 x 4=432 times) on japa

4. read two slokas everyday from Bhagvad Gita.

5. Stop eating kurkure.

6. try to go to temple every Sunday.

7. stop listening to progressive rock...its making me more emo. Stick to old school thrash and heavy metal.

Being tardy all these while . No i was not on a hiatus or something. I was busy with some of my own work. Juggling lots of things. Ah what i can say. I am not a student of literature or people profoundly used to student of solitude. I was sublimating with lots of dreams. I am into my cocoon of faeces doing something (something is what i like it to say for the time being) . Tonight i will be sleeping off my confusion .I am so confused right now. my head space/brawl is playing cerebral badinage. A moth smoke seems to frisks with me. They say when life gets tough get tougher.. totally profuse . fluid dynamics turbulence can be felt inside my mental crome. An ganglia of random thoughts can be felt. Its been a long time my fingers or ball pen have strewn any things . I pick my words and meet the inside of me to paint the dreamscape that i want to. As i peek through the tunnel of life, i want to redefine my life which i been doing since a long time. How will you the know the misconception that is boiling inside me. It take s such a heavy when that you don’t want to see me. It is a new day and i am all revised. One more step that is waiting for me. I am downing in my system. Hope i know myself despite all the things. The buzz inside me, within me,pain within me. the lubrication within me keep me going. i won’t take take that step.i don’t want to drag much of me into all my sense of to my reality. My dormant existance is my way of loosing up. This my life. I am calling myself. A mere proof of existence without you. I am out of love..everything seems so good ,may be the reason is you not having around. The thick crimson pushed the scene like a transparent metaphor. When all my proverbial words seems to commit suicide. It’s a reason to get back to you. It’s a backward direction which makes no sense. You`re beautifully wrapped in shy glances and a delicious aura of silent smile. Your memory seems to wear off. this erasing effect is so prevalent. I no more long for you. I want to script the way i want my life to be. I let my thoughts trigger ,i don’t make any effort. I don't know how it happened, but there it lay, at the bottom, in pieces. I didn't notice the vodka filled glass until it was the last thing left sodden in the sink. I didn't notice its brokenness until my finger scraped against its edge and blood slowly swirled into the swimming water. It was beautiful, in a very wrong way. I am still in the reminiscent of treading all the path where the things are left. To see the thick crimson slowly push through the clueless transparent. Life seems to fall from the path where i have left it . i have picked up the downtrodden things. To form patterns that were graceful in their motion. It was the kind of beauty that captures your attention because of its unexpectedness. It was strange to watch it all slowly disappear into pink fading . I wish it would have lasted a little longer. Pale pink. The kind of color that makes one crinkle their nose and look away.like the way i wanna move.. like the way i want to groove.
i wish i could ask a lot from this life. My soul is no more of mine.i wish i could see the stars again with that smile.i donnu when you told me you drew a line and all the i was not allowed to jump in the astral sky along with you. Its fine. Hope all stars shone for you. I will dither in my own miseries. I don’t wanna write more about all. wish i could have said what in my head. I am a coward . i am intertwined in my own limitation as i have said before. Fine i wont tiptoe with my own heart feelings. I am smiling just by thinking about you. I need to shift through the random and picking up my bits from the esplanade of my mind to vagabond. I can’t ask more.

As i am alone now and all the dappled lights seems to focus on my study table. I am really scared like the way i am wasting my time. My days are passing by quickly, leaving behind a vague scent of having existed. My head need new things to keep myself buy. Old stuffs irks me out. I don’t want time when i can find time to linger between thoughts, to ponder over words.Which i do most of the time. I am going to miss this living area. Being able to navigate through the dark without stubbing my toes. I will miss all the writing that it has inspired off me. The way it attached itself to my thoughts and the way it adapted to whatever I was reading. Experiencing. Never hindering. Always cajoling. Encouraging. Allowing me to drift off to another world. I am going to miss falling asleep here. And the feel of the floor under my bare feet. I need to buy some more stuffs of worth reading or get hooked to some serious writers work. All the writing are waste. Same mundane typecast bullshit. its late night and i am owl and typing. Seriously i need to rest now. my guide will be coming to college tomorrow. I can see a papercup lying on my floor. Haha one more day it has saved it self from the sweeper. Let me keep it and preserve it. Ah i like paper cups. They are kinda sweet. I like the gentle curves . i know they are kinda sassy for a guy to say all those. But who gives a fuck . i like it. The celing fan is rotating and bellowing all my hanged shirts and cloths accordingly. The nocturnal moon seems to be weeping and its light seems cascading into the room.

My fingers touch the bottle of water and the dripping from the water bottle seems to have a reason as of now. Its kinda subtle for me to understand. Or maybe i am trying to drawn stupid reason for everything. Ah that what a inebriated body acts maybe: P. The gushing thoughts and powerful words ..is pushing me back and forth . i dnt wanna practise what in my memory and where my mind is taking me now.... good night J (apology for the shoody grammar and lines)

cold comfort

Morning has broken.the sun is shredding and turning it into the tangerine sky. Day is still quite silent. All the sms and missed calls are returned. Being very busy all these days. Finally cartoons have been made. I launched (a thing)on sunday. Most probably by next Sunday it will be on to grab public eye-balls. Major tweaks here and there are left. Spend few thousand bucks. i had to cut down so much of my pocket money for this work. Right now i got nothing to say. Many strips of cartoon are still to be made . i will work upon it. I was going all crazy these days.totally secluded from human mass. I was working tooth and nails. I failed so many time. Nothing is so easy as it seems. still i muster up the courage to do all those. After a long time I was lain awake a long. I clad in my regular clothes. I need something to look for. I need to set new targets now. The present existence is difficult for me. All these material joy is making me more distress. What the fuck i want from myself. Still i don’t know. For how long i will long for the ultimate wisdom.when will i be wise. How long i will remain indifferent from my own self. When these shades of grey will fall from my life. When i will soak myself in the transcendental stage of myself. Anyway i am gagged. Things will juxtapose with due course of time.lets hope so. I don’t blame for the sickness that engulfs me. maybe everything is for more purity. Circumscatnce make me feel i am caged. Soon or the other i will leave eberything behind. Only memories i will have filled with time.I wanna see the world only through your eyes.. If i had a choice to make it all right. I am blind to find the way. I have nothing to say. God guide me.Sweet like honey, the sun rays albeit effulgent my room walls. I sit and soak the morning sun. Listening to Jam Balaya by Jhonny Russell all these while. I got some pent up work. Some sketched figures inside my head need to be strewn on paper. A literature spate wants to exfoliate itself. I am out with a cup of tea now. i am sitting and idling my time . clicking some old photo gallery. When the colour was sepia.. Ah i am engrossed. The chair where i am sitting is damp. Cold to my touch. My memory and your face market sits beside me.. I am been writing for a long using pen and paper. Little blemishes adorning the tip of my fingers. Why is it like that ? when we lose everything at that time we are interested in doing the things to get them back?

And i can understand how far i have gone but still no one is there for me to wait by. Silence but not solitude engulfs me. `you win my love`by shaina twain is the perfect song that is on my mind now. Anyway many rustling thoughts . Sieved few moments which worth’s some thought symmetry. The leave fallen from the tree and creaking as people walk by. I am thinking whose fault is that? Leaves? Or the tree? leaves who fell down from the tree or the tree which couldn’t hold it for long. I am convinced to accept its the law. One day or the other everybody have to go through such. Such is the law of nature. The existence .There is a taciturn ache pulsating through my bones. It could be because of all the writing/reading I did. But I think it's the coldness i have. It is somehow good that it reminds me of many things that i did. But i am still so cold. A world so cold.

apart

nothing keep us together
forever i am moving apart
can`t i be a hero just for one day
i am following those love footprints
i think i am loosing you again
hiding away from the sun and all season
i remeber how i was standing next to you
and i was playing with your shadow
i am just living moveless no
oh god i need your help
its me only who is been singing
turn out the light in the bedroom
i will switch the tv off
i don`t want to be distracted
you are more than someone
a midnight walk with you
with you ever place looks so vivid
with you the sky even dances
the feeling i never felt before
you are more than someone i love
you watm me up more than fire
and fire i have always adored
and i am only me
but only you can see
what that means
i am you in me
the world seems like home when
i`m with you
remember when i met you
in a room full of emptiness
and when you spoke i shivered
sure that the room full would explode
right then i got caught in your eyes
and i could`nt say that much
i was shy,afraid and frozen
but love you`ve sure warmed me up
i am only me
but only you can see
what that means
i am you
as long as there`s blood in my heart
i`m never letting go
as long as there`s air in my longs
i`m never letting go
i am you in me

days

Reminiscent of the past still beckons with all the inherent feelings that still lingers somewhere in the memory lane. How days used to be when the pangs of teenage and childhood seemed cool.How we used to find joy in the trivial bland without much of life vanities. How we used to be so special for someone.How gargantuan school bags used to be. How making hair seemed to be ultimate fashion parlance. I miss my mother`s enormous glass of milk which she used to feed and I used to feign not to drink it voicing some excuses. I miss the childhood games doctor-doctor and those bedtime lullabies .I miss the feel of removing the dried fevicol from finger tips . i miss the paper boats and streaming them by the small puddles. Dang i miss those days . When career and M.tech seemed like words. When incomplete home-works seemed like a terror-fest to us. Waking up till late night which never used to cross 11 o`clock just to complete home-work. How heavy our eyes used to get completing it . How we loved to shave our face even though we didnt have any beard. How we used to gad around in father`s big shoe secretly. How we used to fight with sisters/brother regarding the share of food items. How we used to feel when we had likehundred rupees or something in our piggy bank. As if we can buy anything in this world.We we were also so ready to lend money to anyone in our home including parents. haha such fools we were. How we used to find cartoons so amusing. Ah i miss my bata naughty shoes and all the fun. The peek of my that old eye that used to dream for this day and the innocent giggles like a school boy thinking about it. i dunno where those good days have gone. i miss my old buddies and all the good things. i dunno why old things are still clawed to my heard. The first crush, her leaped dimples.How they used to throb the heart. ah such innocent we were. i dunno where good days have gone. The poisonous bane of adulation seems to take all my love and goodness.Some one please take me to a place when i cant follow any one.Someone please come and say i did no fault.gimme a child like life.I want my innocent childhood back.

√ are one which I have read . Rest I want to read before I die(I got the list from telegraph 12 April 2008)

1 Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen √

2 The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien

3 Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte √

4 Harry Potter series - JK Rowling √

5 To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee √

6 The Bible √

7 Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte

8 Nineteen Eighty Four - George Orwell

9His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman

10 Great Expectations - Charles Dickens

11 Little Women - Louisa M Alcott

12 Tess of the D'Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy

13 Catch 22 - Joseph Heller √

14 Complete Works of Shakespeare

15 Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier

16 The Hobbit - JRR Tolkien

17 Birdsong - Sebastian Faulks

18 Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger √

19 The Time Traveller's Wife - Audrey Niffenegger

20 Middlemarch - George Eliot

21 Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell

22 The Great Gatsby - F Scott Fitzgerald

23 Bleak House - Charles Dickens

24 War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy

25 The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams

26 Brideshead Revisited - Evelyn Waugh

27 Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky

28 Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck

29 Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll

30 The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame

31 Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy

32 David Copperfield - Charles Dickens √

33 Chronicles of Narnia - CS Lewis

34 Emma - Jane Austen

35 Persuasion - Jane Austen

36 The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe - CS Lewis

37 The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini √

38 Captain Corelli's Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres

39 Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden

40 Winnie the Pooh - AA Milne

41 Animal Farm - George Orwell

42 The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown√

43 One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez

44 A Prayer for Owen Meaney - John Irving

45 The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins

46 Anne of Green Gables - LM Montgomery

47 Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy

48 The Handmaid's Tale - Margaret Atwood

49 Lord of the Flies - William Golding

50 Atonement - Ian McEwan

51 Life of Pi - Yann Martel √

52 Dune - Frank Herbert

53 Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons

54 Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen √

55 A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth

56 The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon

57 A Tale Of Two Cities - Charles Dickens

58 Brave New World - Aldous Huxley

59 The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time - Mark Haddon

60 Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez

61 Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck

62 Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov

63 The Secret History - Donna Tartt

64 The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold

65 Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas

66 On The Road - Jack Kerouac

67 Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy

68 Bridget Jones's Diary - Helen Fielding

69 Midnight's Children - Salman Rushdie

70 Moby Dick - Herman Melville

71 Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens

72 Dracula - Bram Stoker

73 The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett

74 Notes From A Small Island - Bill Bryson

75 Ulysses - James Joyce

76 The Bell Jar - Sylvia Plath

77 Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome

78 Germinal - Emile Zola

79 Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray

80 Possession - AS Byatt

81 A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens

82 Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell

83 The Color Purple - Alice Walker

84 The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro

85 Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert

86 A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry

87 Charlotte's Web - EB White

88 The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Alborn

89 Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle √

90 The Faraway Tree Collection - Enid Blyton

91 Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad

92 The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint-Exupery

93 The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks

94 Watership Down - Richard Adams

95 A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole

96 A Town Like Alice - Nevil Shute

97 The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas

98 Hamlet - William Shakespeare

99 Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl

100 Les Miserables - Victor Hugo