random 4

its 9.07pm and i am suffering from a debilitating brain aneurism . my brain is still in the platform and hasn't come up with any power to write something. the inner is psychometric and my search for excellence is still in isle.deterring my thinking inch to inch. am at loss of some intelligent phrasing..went outside to gorge some food..my belly now counts small small nibble of masala dosa if i ruminate it like a cow. always i taught myself to be in a grid lock when it comes to feelings. but from evening my head is like a welkin,still i cant come up with some phrase.still i cant brave myself to debauch this snippet with abundance details. i am beastly sick to think and write now. i wanna keep the mystery rumbling inside my chrome.cynically fucked with thoughts.defective nutrition.. defective life.. defective brewing desires ..sometime i like to make some imaginary lines but i dunno how you will take the ugly side of me :/

random 3

its 6.40 pm just back from collage.first thing i have done after putting my satchel is writing this snippet.i have nothing to tell or a tale to live for. just to short to frame it up. no new sky to fly for,no new liking ..still the same . all thoughts still secluded as a sharp blaze. a blooded heart with a sweet tinge of lunacy. inside cretin is still busy editing it games with new rules. by the wind, my weird self rattles for a life. while i break for a death in this life..a head stained with lust. agonizing the day light . my head cries in volume and i cant hear my hearts pulsating rhythms. i wanna reach for your sky and paint it up. sometime i am so mad at my self . i scream at the sky but its fucking empty.my vocal chord of chaos slowly fades its resonance .November doom is over and December is all ready to troll. with the shades to kill this year. November a redeemer of just pain and sorrow. an occult with many demises and stupid cries. my heart is still green. water me i am still here..water me

random 2

Its 1 pm and am literally staring .i am at a dry spell for words again. i look so serene from outside but from with am more of a psyche's mess. my head is heavy after having an coitus with polymer books and literature. i too feel am carrying a self destructive moth analogy and presence of me is kinda bothering .i don`t know when i turned into a object,needless i have to apologies for every deeds of mine. my essence is like a spur to many people eyes. or may be am too lost and my head will fall sometime. my eyes are open for 5 mins but still i am asleep. my head now demands for everything as he is the king for everything . i got class from 2 pm and i can see my bed for an escape.but i don't wanna blow out my time lying somnolent and let my head have a conflict with my body. i need some substance to get engrossed rather than letting my vile gray cells play their miscreants games.i don't wanna practice my evil wordplay now and then.right now i want to be a crowded place and let my brain fly like a hydrogen balloon ,so that i can see and laugh at it. i want to be brainless.i just have a normal body function .i don't wanna sink in the tornado of infatuation or get addicted to confession of loving someone. after sometime i will be sitting in a class of unknown sea of heads..........fuck cupid is orgy ..fuck my range is infinite miseries

random 1

i am feeling squeamish after all these. consuming two lozenge of paracetamol and lying all dormant on bed is making me feel less like a human.sleeping like a log for the whole day minus the snores.i hate to fall sick but being a human i am exempted from having a second option. i had cut my diet from like last one month. i am eating very less. like half belly full.my weight have dwindle a lot in this one month. i dunno why am doing all these to myself. anyway i have to reconstruct with what am lagging behind . sometime i feel someone have put me in a reshuffle mode and i am being played without anyone`s concern. somewhere my life is like a solo, played just to please for a moment and being forgotten after while.many random feeling are now forming a figure of some monster shape and dancing inside me and teasing me. i dunno why am missing you more than yesterday.i dunno how to pen such thoughts. i dunno wanna sabotage the build up pally rapport. maybe am too coward with all these.i dunno how to court you when you are near. i wanna stay with you darling but my other half don`t want to me to dare me with such tepid feelings.

An inquisition makes me run from the woods of ages.
Rummaging the musk deep within for enlightenment.
A vernal awakening as i fall
by the era of darkness, I make a curve
Just to be cleaned by the water of salvation
To mold myself beyond control
My past is proven with bitter resentment
Sanity now vanquished
I lost my trajectories, my entire mind orbit as I walk through this ancient.
The reminisces of a abandoned past...
Mental picture burning with some feelings
Captured in a living body ...moving each day to a death voyage
Existing in an off to never land
I rouse from a material guise
Now i want to emancipate from all restraints
Every desires fades as I touch the ground by my bare foot
The darkness inside me bleak
To give a way to a brighter day
From the center of my heart I have carved a lucid creek
In search for a loomed knowledge
to grope for introspection.
Where life is formed to chime.
Lost myself to eternity where contraries blend as one.
Realm of pure hopes revealed
my self levitates as slowly I bask in the serenity.
As i leave this feeble world and mark my way
to a life full with life.

Some untamed feelings which are burning like ember within me. i thought of writing to you a long time back. I pressed your name hard by my lips. I had no valor to pen all . I buried all what i brewed. I sniff that sweet rumination with lot of pain. A snippet which i wrote for you which i can’t post or email. The words unspoken , amber feelings turning into fossils. And decaying in my heart`s burial ground. I sit by the naked nefarious sky. Those sparkling stars twinkling as I head up. Slowly the threadbare of darkness is effaced and a sweet tinge of love spatters in the ricochet of my heart. Tiny vibrations of my heart crumbling with a sweet joy, don’t know what this feeling is . There is someone between this moon and me. Some sweet thoughts about someone. Accidentally am in love. A circus where two hearts are playing. And she knows it’s more than love. A feeling more divine . a love which is more than love. She knows what`s deep within those mascara beautiful eye lashes. The breezing air carries her smell(badbu :P). The night and star are teasing me now as i dream of her mystical visage. So beautiful colors of her seems to paint my heart. Its new. Stringing about future days as i think about her. Myriad of sweet feelings flower inside my garden. they always say you know when a perfect person walks in your life. Each word i pick to define as it is like a novel within itself.
a gleaming face ,a killer mascara you wear is cringing me . I am the one who wants to be with you. Hope, deep within you are smitten by the same thought. Just to be next to you. i want to lose everything to you. Girl i am grieving. Nothing of mine is left in me. The world around you is making my heart to pump. Baby you are the one. The more i see the more am blurry in the depth of your love. Come feel the inside lurve turmoil with a precession. I am shapeless, come mold me in your love. Come on baptize me in the river of your love. This is a feeling i can’t escape. From deep within a soothing commotion playing inside my head. Under the silver moon light sparkling i want to kiss you. I want to hold your hands and dance by the sweet breeze blowing. I want to drown in the river of your love. I want to get lost in this twilight . i swear i want to lift your arms . i want to be glued in the labyrinth of your simple smile. I want to institute all that I want to . i want to dive into you and colors my heart pool with vivid color. Forever ....

The last goodbye

Dwelling under the shroud of darkness again
Shadows of downfall hovers over my head
Desiring to annihilate my futile soul again
Lusting to envenom this blood in my vein

I seek no more of this delusive delight now
And I seek no more of this unfading affliction
The last blaze of my life is gently dying away,
I envisage, my infernal soul is denied of salvation

How I desired to take you in my cold heaven
I dream of a night that would last forever
How I had foreseen to raise the flames again
I dream of our union a moment to remember

In every rising flame I could see your alluring face
In every red water I could smell your holy grace
With every deep incision, I could virtually hear you moan
I would chase your shadow in every passing dawn

But now that I’ve found you, I’ll forsake you someday
And now that I adore you,I’ll imbibe of you one-day
So let me depart from you,let me not see you die
let me see you smile forever ,let me kiss you my last goodbye.

The Dawn

Woke up to an echo of a mournful cry;
Seems to be the year’s bleakest, coldest dawn .
I solemnly gaze out through my crimson eyes;
to an obscure damsel , unseen ,unknown.

I try to reminisce my memoir, but in vain;
streaks of ebonizing light slashes my vision.
Begging to lose grip on my sanguinary lust;
I approach her to alleviate her archaic pain.

With a dismal semblance on her face;
She sits upon an anonymous grave.
Dead roses lay at her feet,soaked in tears;
Displaying a faint smile,she strives to mask her fears.

But Before the blazing sun scorches my soul;
And before the forlorn mortals annex her pain.
I’d love to bestow my courtesy upon her ;
Would love to drill a deep hole into her flushing vein.

Let me bury you in my cold embrace;
Let me take you into my sunless world.
Devoid of the burdens of life, or the fear of wrath.
Where every day is a sanguinary night,untouched by death.

A bleak frozen dawn emerges out of an endless night

Sprawling on my bed of thorns,stagnant and desolate,
memories are slowly disintegrating ,as my heart runs cold.
As the clutch of death on my life is growing stronger,
This decaying body wouldn’t sustain my soul any longer.

This futile life is a curse that I was bestowed upon
It’s been Ripping me apart ever since I was born
I perished a million times ,died more than I could live
Had ample reason to lament,reason enough to grieve

A somberly dawn emerges out of an endless night
feeble voices calling my name from a raging sea
An arcane force wakes me up,so I linger outside
And I see a flight of black swans passing over me

I gather dead roses and thorns, for me to adorn
Dressed in my favorite attire,its all in black
With great delight,I dig up the ground,six feet down
I hope someone would visit me,I feel a mourner is what I lack

So I rejoice and I dance,for today is my demising day,
No more of this remorse and agony,no more of paralyzed dreams.
I shall cease to endure this sin,my plagued mind shall begin to freeze,
And now that I behold a blaze of light,soon I know I’ll be resting in peace.

Darkness descends

Dusk descends once again,
with the clouds of gloom
and these roses would soon perish
Would no longer bloom

yearning,waiting,burning, with this unhallowed lust
Ah! this raging flame,this everlasting thirst.


long gone are the loved ones that I had
so are those whom I circumstantially met
Yet I wait for you since time immemorial
perhaps you won't,perhaps its too late


I gaze dolefully at those dying roses,
one after another,they slowly turn pale
with my blood i try to paint them red
to make them stay a little longer,but to no avail.



let us make this night last forever

I love you its true
tonight i'll die,so shall you

End of Sorrow

Death stalks me,every night in my dreams
don't know why,what it really means
I hide,I run,and I begin to crawl
Is this the end?Or the onset of my downfall?

crumbling underneath a blood stained sky
Nobody seems around to hear my frantic cry
I try to reminisce a name,but in vain
My mind is frozen,heart devoured by pain

From sunrise till the sundown
my unclean soul is being cursed upon
For the sin that I've never known
For the evil that I had never done

Every breath that I take
is like thorns ripping my heart apart
and every grave that I see
assures me that soon I shall depart.

So far beyond a dark horizon,I behold
the last rain of my life begins to fall
I hope I'll never wake up and see tomorrow
I reckon this is the end,the end of my sorrow.

my prison,my life

Society seems like a forge where human kills human. a venomous place where no naive stand.i was innocent too. Wish i was never born. To breathe the air that i breathe now. Wish I was a dead fetus .ripped inside my mother`s womb. By the gates of ancient to neo i want to come and free all. I want to emancipate myself from all the named things. But I was doomed to suffer. I was born, i am scared, disfigured, and forgotten in this society`s prison. What to do now. For the one whom so confined me, by whose snares I am enslaved. Why am a part of this? Why am i forced to this plaguing society? Why they didn’t ask do i want to see this world.? I never wished to be born. Each day i am bee-stung by people bitter mouth and acts. I am plagued by the vices of the ruthless and depraved peoples. All lech. All pedophile. I paint my soul dark to make it stain free now. I put my fingers to discordant my visions to this crummy society. sometime i look at the sky and seek for answers. Responded vanity. The strings of life pulls me down and like a broken string of beads I spread. Life is wasted would be like drunk and gruff about the things we cant face. Wish i was never born . You castrated my life high on whatever made me more to the hardest. But they would stumble and shrieked through their dark eyes with a fucking mentality . Where i can see my ruin. Yeah my ruin.Yet i am a human . I can skirt all the pain but where? Pain is not meant to be inflict upon others. I have to gloat it myself. A rain of pain is falling only on me and i am collecting each drop,each second . I am drenched and I am hollow. But i am not shameless . I am up to the old prostitute shed with an 'red alert' road sign hammered*you are a whore*..slowly and slowly i assuage all the loosely fringes and cast myself to the decaying wooden walls of society. By the night i dream of the nocturnal and demonic side of me by the altar of the brothel. Come rape me. I am just a sex-object devoid of feelings. Come eat my flesh. You made me a whore. And now you call me a slut. Yeah slut. Diabolic and inspired by the cuss of people around. No warm and musky .forced to give myself.would always be there, waiting for them. Waiting for my time to ... The one turned away from the things before staring at you straight in the your eyes. My side of conservation is almost sly smirked *repeated*and wish i could daub all my pain like a vermilion across society face, if not painful as well. Wish i wasn’t born. Wish i was poisoned inside my mother`s womb. I didn’t blame her. Insanity would drive. Living with shitty and slaking the things that are paltry. It was just the way it was and will be . if i leave a empty room no one cares. I crawl and crawl. But the ground crawls back and crawl out of the back gates then speed down the fissure-cracked remnants of an unnamed highway,where people wanton eyes shining and hearts races. Then, they would just drive. Drive in from all restraints . If i could hide all my body from head to toe in bruises and cuts.... They pelted me with sharp tongue and flesh tearing eyes . I protest . They beat me more. Just looking at me, they raped me . I am not a promiscuous object . I am a human.Wish i was poisoned in my mother`s womb. And knowing she did made her see this world..Sexual libidos drives you. Living with the shitty and slaking lust to the things that are paltry. It was just the way it was and will be. If I leave a empty room. You will make another whore out of this society.i shrieked . i asked you to leave me. But all you said was leftrightleftright and raped me. I was only five. Beneath the grill i cried. But your flesh eating eyes was not satiable. I was bleeding.Hymen was broken .my frock was red and your eyes were not . then another man came and more he scaled me. The more i resisted the more he penetrated. I was only five you bastards.you raped me to my bones. I begged let me go.your libido eyes didn’t let me. I crawl and crawl . by the corner i was crying and howling in pain. But you raped me. Now this society have labelled me as a whore. And ...........

kiyo

mur xhori mon goi ase. chori hol heten uri golu hoi tumar khag pablo loi. kiyo tumar kotha itya monot pore. kiyo ...kiyo

Wordless Tongue

Wordless tongue
This empty paper calls my astral name.
I hold it and smell its uncanny breath
beckoning me to sublime and assimilate all the life i lived
After i am born out of death..Again....
I collect the decayed remains of self and tie it to the corroded life chains
Existence of blew tortured sighs and frigid cries
My abandoned poems and dozen verses about desires
About life... a perpetual sweet deviant delirium streaming
Making me rage
Now everything is beyond comprehension
Days bygone..Still I lament
Seasons thawed the spring into winter
Still I hear the shrieking silence back of my head.
Existing projects and new tangents are like ignorant knowledge
I detest this existence
I suffer this malicious life, my barbarity unfurled
The eyes of day chase me and the teeth’s of night bites me
The soundless tongue of people makes me deaf
My heart of mine is in flames
Plundering the meaning of my life in a decomposing world.
I am scared to walk, i am scared to smile
Trampled and encumbered by the hordes of destiny
I am doomed to suffer by eternal hex of life.
It`s a inherited curse
A life unknown
I have bled eternally and internally
I did my time
No submit,no qualms, no correction
I ask for no more
Expect a pending death