Words,feel,yucckk

They say, ones writings can be judged by the way he uses his word, and the way the used adjectives flairs up. The words really can be so edificing in postering out the nature of ones way of thinking. How magically words and feelings conjurs up and flutters out its wings and proclaims its place for a blog post or gets pen down in a dairy for someones pleasure delight or as a hobby.Its an irony too, as there are many writers who are so verbose, yet at the end some of things fails to amuse and gradually the literary flower droops.While there are some who aint much of an literary cognizant yet they idyll up words,  so simple  yet the feelings so complex. Very lately I am off, to read of such works,blog,snippets.I am also reading quotes, which are thumbing with so much intense feel,  in just few lines.

Pig-eon!

Another day! and I feel bleh. Woke up to a headache,aint I am suppose to feeling  good about the way the day is laid for me.I was not in a mood to leave the comfort of my bed, my pillow was such a sweetheart this morning, but most of these days, I am witnessing slight pain in my neck, acting so upright. Yes, actually
a stupid bird was knocking its beak on to my window pane, and I had to wake up. I could barley see its kind, so its fine,lets me generalize and cuss the whole category of bird. But there is a gut feeling that it was a pigeon, cause they are the stupidest one,holds the record for being greatest pooper, at point I am forced to believe their output delivery is more than their input consumption. Thank god, I am not  a pigeon,else it would be so weird. They also says, there is a karma.If you do bad/good. it cycles up and you get results for your doing. Why the heck I have never seen a pigeon get dumped on its head. Stupid!!
I am cutting off, I will pour down some coffee and sleep like a sloth. Happy republic day, by the way!

rotting

I don`t know suddenly, how to react to some who phones  me, I am so out of believe that even my phone could do that thing. Obviously phone are meant for that purpose only. But it seems I am reckoned  from a dark phase and still transposing  myself  to a more darkened entity. I am so out of civilization, I am so out of human. I inhale the reek of the faith that was scattered a long time ago, left are only waves of memories, a dark time, that still hit the shores of my cerebellum.
I am like being invisible in the time of decay, when I am disfigured and dis oriented, in a trance of viscous digital maze. I was still dormant and calcified in own shell. Hollowness, day by day it’s escalating. I feel like I am dead. My hearts is closed like an old box, with metal straps, that one could find in those treasure hunts.
Now as you have a portal to my existence, till now I am trying hard to snatch the mere me of out of me. The `me` who mind is muddled with disintegrated, when its soul is disconnect from the eternal. The shackles and the bond are like thin wires, that revolves around and around and choking the every beautiful essence of being alive, the majestic way to live. I am corroding, day by day, second my second.
I am feel the heart wallowing in excruciating ache, batter. The cuss and puss of human sewer, when I dwell. It feels like a quicksand,. Nothing much is being heard and told, and I am being neglected and ostracized.
I don’t care much, solitude seems like my last resort. Unit by unit I am decomposing my life, my black soul. Emotions and thoughts seems like fade color placed to be parched out.
Slipping away like a sand clock, void and vacuum…

mixed

 The nights falls and its pitchdark now, not a speck of light in my room.
Feeling the weird eerie;absence of something can be so amending.
I am struck, how any I would fit into the consensus of an societal norms.
Being happy and being sad, is just same to me.Such an ambiguity infused in both the half of human behavior.
Day and darkness, I don`t know, what to judge. Poet fears the day,they find serenity in the dwelling, a seer up joy. I am now in an awe to struck some iconoclasm and bear up the pain of being judged too.
I don`t feel the need to draft something as callous and tick my perceptions in a righteous manner.
There is a simple chaos and extreme havoc in being me. I maybe inactive in justifying my virtues, but that`s what drives a human. We are imbued with our own vices but we account our virtues.
Time and time, we feel weak, we feel slackness, like a closed room, longing for a presence.
The world, inanimately feels the need for a disorder,then only order will be there as it itself surrenders to a serene state.
The self-esteem, acquainting, clubbing to be a perfect pull, to fit in this world; a domain of human civilization.
I do long for those rigid substances, those thoughts, those moves, those motives; to be present, rather then
pushing myself from further deterioration.I am aloofed, abstention from any contact from the external world,yet yearing for a utopian maze. I am just being me, all over again.

unfurling new-ness

Bleh! A year, I counted each day, really I had, my fingers were running short.
Each day,I survived in these norms, trust me, I felt so broken,scarred, torn.
I could had broke anytime;so many times. I don`t know what made me kept going. The sensitive soul of
mine, attempted to burn out,but I drudged it each time,marshaling up power, a surge.
Those days of anguish and pain, I inhaled, I somehow assimilated the valor and ended
each frigging day.I was sick and twisted ,the whole year untill december 2016.
Some days I spent amidst nature and family, made me feel rejuvenated .So alive,like clothing my body with a new and revived soul, I understood the true meaning of the word `carpe diem`. From Nov 30 to 14 Dec, I was in northeast,India. Spent couple of days in Gaya,Bihar ;had some unfinished business.
I read couple of good books, among all I liked the writing of Hang Kan, The vegetarian.
On 8th December,I also felt like being a vegetarian, since that day, I havent consumed any flesh till this day.
Why I turned so,I cant tell, I got no specific reason to link to my resolution. Just a temporary or permanent shift, who knows.