done with...

Faded

Umm...
snot from my noses makes my head heavy..
swamped into denial..
fetid air i inhale..
Am sick.am twisted..
Drenched by a rain falling only on me..
Nothing to do..Nothing to grab... Nothing for shelter
My throat squealed a lot..
Curved in a catatonic volute.
My Tibio-tarsal articulation is crippled
No more might to run
Reality is a migraine to my existence..
Nothing seem normal..
Existence fucking ripped as a smocking..
My paper-head brew for tenacity..
I give up..i refuse to live
Silhouette of life slowly fades
Pabulum is poisoned ...i hate my self
My abnormality heckled my normality
Am done..i did my time..

brewing failure

I am cling to a rotting life
succumbed by a existence full with negativity and failure
where everything is surreal ad everything is a lie
falsified by a world full of shits
living each day with a souless appettite
a misguided fool...a puppet to lifestyle hand
my infertile head to regurgitate my life to lunacy
a imminence burn..charring my desires to breath..
Paranoia have widespread volume
making me how
gutwrenching scream deaf my ears
am sick..am tired

mind snapped with failure
mental chrome dome filled with demented thoughts
i failed to conquer life
how to tame my head to this new method
left alone...
Everybody walked away...every relation deflated..

diagonally parked

As the light from my bulb is slowly going numb, each night it seems i have wasted one more days. i dnt know what am doing with life.so pissed .so mad at myself. Nocturnal hours haunts me now. each thoughts seems to leaks and went fading.pulled down ,am drowning in my own agony, my cryptic self won’t let me live now . Nobody is here. i try not to fear but my-self haunts me..take whatever you want from me but please give me a piece of mind. Failure has made me a creator now .more of a desecrator. Show me a sign, show me a path .i need a light to feel.where are my guiding angel. Seems they eloped rather than helping me combating with this hellish mental dome of mine. some kind of fright , this inner monster out of head womb is not letting me to revert to normalcy.each day i see my stinking self. What am i become. such a pathetic malady.i live with monsters but they never pay rent , my good thoughts are biding me a farewell. sending me into the oblivion of psychosis. my head is pierced from spears dripped in toxins by my own bitter thoughts..so antidotes wont save my soul , only burn more holes

I am counting my breath as i fall to the poisoned ground..
My visage is smeared by the context of evil
forever swathe to the darkness
i breath the air where hate and cuss collide
where dear ones excommunicated e
where every truth is a lie
where every flame of care and love grows cold
its hollow me now
and the darkness engulf my painful scream
howling in pain
in my own sin.i sanctify my soul
darkness has lacerate my existence
darkness is the only light that plays with me
whispering chants of Pandemonium
raping my inner desires to live
in my own built up vengeance
slowly i rot
i gasp for air..id scream for light...
And slowly i inure myself to it

SHE

Putrid stench of this solitude
Encompassed me and encapsulated me
I can see darkness falling..Assimilated into its abyss
My mind seems lost in the myriad of it..
Blooming voices bellows and calls my name
echoes from surrounding..a gust of cold air touched my ears
`sleep in my embrace ..come with me~
A cold numb sensation, my body melodised with the prevailing..
Mariana trench of fear shivered me as a whole
~come sleep..enter with me to the state of subconscious~
Petrified and blood curdling...
Grid locked from all directions...manipulating like a perve
Debauched by the serene nocturnal times..
A sweet feeling ..a sweet danger webbed with lust
Cant brave to comprehend its mystery
Either i taste its venom..or die out of my libido
Am slowing shrinking in my own lust for the her
A cold numb sensation runs black within me
I ran ..i ran..lost into the labyrinth to grope her
Afar ..i sensed her
Her cynicism beckons me..Like a sweet humoresque it’s playing
A texture of witch...She was
A coven by the altar...am lost to her bouts
She hold my hand..While the full moon sings and crimson lights shimmered
She whispered to my ears...`come to me`
Aloof from reality..
and slowly she consumed me ..like a zealot i followed.
A impending doom of our fate

semi-automated

Fabricate the dismantled parts
Fix me with the guiding ancillaries
Am broken...fix me...
Give me all the six degree of endurance test and pass me out again
Tag me with O.K tested again
Wash me im unclean
I tried to clean the slimy gutter of society
But failed
I couldn’t stand the power of the people
My sense recalls the words ~ cut him...kill him~
Then I fainted...or my system crashed
All my circuits pots failed...death remained resting
All the right dimension and size of populace are same
All owing to make these society graveyards
With entrance for young saplings with inner blooming loathe
Limited space available for care
Expert in the multiplying the womb .fuck and produce
Simple dictum they follow
The words care for other is subtracted
And infinite hatred is brewing
Strange they care for the one who is death.
Keep the ashes inside your urn
And aversion to the one alive.
People cringing and howling with pain...hunger
Everywhere grave diggers...everywhere hate breeder
As the news reached them --I was programmed
Programmed to create a better world
They hunt me down and dig me into the forlorn abyss of ignorance
I’m closely watching the events..
Cause i cant harm
I’m heating up but no air ducts..
Need to cut the blubber before they decides to kill
But i don’t want to
All humans no exceptions unless you learn to fight back
Wait back to the subject i calculated
yes so my audible are undeniable words i recorded
fight..hate..fuck..kill..die

time is snoozy and i seem to cope with my head..i poisoned some of the things that was bothering me..its like a profanity that i was breeding so long.i dnt know how it spruted with my head cells.really it was grusome.how i treated my dears..like a little snooty kid..unaware of all .. being so arrogant .should have known that am no more a whippy kid and i shoul consume my such abhor cliche now..as i sat underneath the full moon and look to it.i promised something.somethig to myslef.hope my shooting star outshine the life of people i care about..

nexus

Its 18 July 9.46 pm location- Dwarka ,aurangabad...we are like ten guys sitting in dwarka...just a congregation ...a nexus of few close frends as a sign of welcome to our pass out senior..currently working with a software industry in nashik..like after two years or so i have met..he was a senior to me in collage days..anway.. What matters is that he is with us..am sitting inside a restaurant and punching all this on my phone.this bad () got me inebriated.i dnt know how to react to this current ambience...all are sitting and chit chatting..hehe

daily grouses

Its 10 am and i have nothing to do productive. Simple dilly dallying..am simply strolling by the machine lane. So congested..so chaotic. The noise fucks my head. No one is around to fancy a blather .the machinery sounds don’t seems to give me any soothing resonance. my head can really get annoyed if i ask my mind to resolute the cryptic squeal they are making. All are so harmonised sync chaos..so ordered. All people working on the shop floor as if they are born in such a ambience. Each day’s dilly dallying with this idiotic cum weird head of mine. How many snippets of daily grouses i have written and discarded . Whenever im sullen i write to unfurl my inner fucked up thoughts..Why i write i don’t know. How each morning i wake up and totally aware about how my typical day is going to be in that prosy crap. I can read those unseen lines what written on my forehead when i take my hand mirror--~you are so wasted~. I gulp this truth and deck up in formal shitty clothes. Each second from then my head implodes with the work that’s going to entail me and fuck me for the whole day..Which least of it fails to lures me .i dnt give a flying fuck to the stuffs i do. My animosity and acrimonious have nothing to do with the people around me...no one really cares. It my life and i can see it going wasted. But i can’t do anything..What can i? By the day the crescendo of my head is in its peak and by evening it ends..i know by the time i will reach room it will be late .i can only manage time of sleep and dinner. Why i sleep.. i dnt sleep..SHUTEYES..i just put myself on resume mode for next day work.. Like a cycle am being running for the last one year... am too tired now..Too tired of this so called life ..Now it’s escalating within me like a incurable disease ..

am wasted

Its evening and i opened the window to let the honey colour rays to strike my threshold. Today i left office late. it’s been a daily dallying with imbecile heads.. Am counting my days rather than making my each day count. I missed all the necessary concoction to make it worthy or count and in this paltry try I seem to waste my 11 months in this industry. Now one month is left to impregnate myself with this torment and anguish. If I happen to stay one more day after that my head will be subjected to a dichotomy with my own pent up frustrations. I’m sick of these daily grouses. My very own slugs worm fiends with normalcy.. Each day i promise myself to be strong..Each night i sleep to resume for the next day’s work. I say to myself you have to be strong. But really it’s not me. It seems I’m living someone else`s life. Who am I deceiving? .i just want to go to my domicile and work there. That a place I can’t desert .it’s been a long time I haven’t been home. I miss the warmth and everything. Happiness lies in small things not in trivia. It isn’t like am in a writhe but it’s like i can’t take it anymore. But the thing is my family even doesn’t want me in home. Only thing they care about is money. Money seems the pivotal thing for everyone. Its like am born of filth.a inherited curse with which im living. Why the fuck was I born. I am so sullen and depressed right now. I know no one will even try to understand me. I got my own eyes to look at the things..And i think no one will ever know with the frustration I’m dealing with.. May be am becoming my own arch enemy.. i don’t want to live . Albeit life is killing me. Am wasted..really fucking wasted