am wasted

Its evening and i opened the window to let the honey colour rays to strike my threshold. Today i left office late. it’s been a daily dallying with imbecile heads.. Am counting my days rather than making my each day count. I missed all the necessary concoction to make it worthy or count and in this paltry try I seem to waste my 11 months in this industry. Now one month is left to impregnate myself with this torment and anguish. If I happen to stay one more day after that my head will be subjected to a dichotomy with my own pent up frustrations. I’m sick of these daily grouses. My very own slugs worm fiends with normalcy.. Each day i promise myself to be strong..Each night i sleep to resume for the next day’s work. I say to myself you have to be strong. But really it’s not me. It seems I’m living someone else`s life. Who am I deceiving? .i just want to go to my domicile and work there. That a place I can’t desert .it’s been a long time I haven’t been home. I miss the warmth and everything. Happiness lies in small things not in trivia. It isn’t like am in a writhe but it’s like i can’t take it anymore. But the thing is my family even doesn’t want me in home. Only thing they care about is money. Money seems the pivotal thing for everyone. Its like am born of filth.a inherited curse with which im living. Why the fuck was I born. I am so sullen and depressed right now. I know no one will even try to understand me. I got my own eyes to look at the things..And i think no one will ever know with the frustration I’m dealing with.. May be am becoming my own arch enemy.. i don’t want to live . Albeit life is killing me. Am wasted..really fucking wasted