29th Dec 2016, late night,3.00 AM

Ah, my head is heavy now, my eyes are red like blood. I am feeling so frigging wasted as I swamp my head on my pillow , not actually bring much of an existence value. Probably much of turdy thoughts polluting everything, so is it the place when I dwell or it my cerebral. I am so in and out of it. Trying so hard be to so frigging righteous and upstanding, eh simply out of you and bustling many thoughts. My head has already ostracized them, as it couldnot hold the pent up shits for much longer duration and I cant blame my organs for their functionality, now my thoughts are lost and need a medium to make frigging sense. Twitching shades and those bloody cells, my head seemed to pool out them and make me paralyzed. I ask myself, do I really need a concrete reason to make some legit reason to spew.
The lights too from my mushy room are dim, the paint chipping off the archaic wall like a drought stricken land.
The flicking bulb convincing me, how deeply I am inflicted, without making me realized what a sloth-human I became, tormented and parted.
I feel so medieval; cobwebs around linked to cover the corners of my room; my body reeks as I look them in haze.
I just shrugged and trying to be dodgy with each coming day..

Detested and absolutely clueless.

Lazy bones harbored, anchored so deep.

I don`t know where my vigor got inebriated and fallen in the miles of dismay.

Pretty sides, marred with looming bewildment.

All the brevity to create, convoluted and sickening.

My cerebral draining out , making me lorn out of a savant state.

Ah, such an anguish, such a battered self.

Days gone-by and the aligning thoughts

Like a revamp, my words need to find purity.

Trawling seconds

Hi ,to the lazy side of me. You have really kept me dormant
for almost a year now. Prevented me, watered the writing incendies
spree inside of me. My own liveries drifted towards more of a subtle domain, deeper
state of existence.
I wished, I could have added more whispers, more servility with each passing day.
I have been a daft, cuddling the bitter me for a long time.
As, I type these words, I could measure the establishment of a
mediocre self of me. I was still a fledgling bloke, eating and munching,and
suddenly at tonight this epiphany soared in me, Off we go!! ain`t you
had a blog or something
,than what kept you holding from typing those doltish thoughts.
Since I realized it just 5 mins back, why not enjoy the epicurean delight, shards
the crystals and deuce.
I have promised lot of things to myself, sorry the commotion,
but trust me, I feel utterly silly and nauseated to say it,
I am going to write quite often, be it from the oasis of calm, or sometime chaotic yard.
Words of my mine has already butterflied from its chrysalis,
I will try my best.
In case I detach and involve in some other craft, maaf kar denga.

I have witnessed so many times, weary times, in combat between inner demons and angles. A battle, where these two arch enemies had been thirsty to slake each other’s blood, but most of all these are all cold blooded one, not a mere scar or a drop of blood, yet it’s been pretty gruesome. I have found myself standing on the rubicon, where I have to play the referee, hands tied, mouth gagged, only ears and ears are the sense to visualize the scene. The cryptic moves in which one is hewing with tooth and nail the other one. I know I have the valor to marshal up and set this war a halt, but what is holding me back, what is impeding me. Why infort of my eyes, this war is raging, why after having eyes , I am feeling so blind folded.Sigh! Unit by unit I am decaying deep within, these rotten flesh, these dried up blood and the fetidness in the air.