cold comfort

Morning has broken.the sun is shredding and turning it into the tangerine sky. Day is still quite silent. All the sms and missed calls are returned. Being very busy all these days. Finally cartoons have been made. I launched (a thing)on sunday. Most probably by next Sunday it will be on to grab public eye-balls. Major tweaks here and there are left. Spend few thousand bucks. i had to cut down so much of my pocket money for this work. Right now i got nothing to say. Many strips of cartoon are still to be made . i will work upon it. I was going all crazy these days.totally secluded from human mass. I was working tooth and nails. I failed so many time. Nothing is so easy as it seems. still i muster up the courage to do all those. After a long time I was lain awake a long. I clad in my regular clothes. I need something to look for. I need to set new targets now. The present existence is difficult for me. All these material joy is making me more distress. What the fuck i want from myself. Still i don’t know. For how long i will long for the ultimate wisdom.when will i be wise. How long i will remain indifferent from my own self. When these shades of grey will fall from my life. When i will soak myself in the transcendental stage of myself. Anyway i am gagged. Things will juxtapose with due course of time.lets hope so. I don’t blame for the sickness that engulfs me. maybe everything is for more purity. Circumscatnce make me feel i am caged. Soon or the other i will leave eberything behind. Only memories i will have filled with time.I wanna see the world only through your eyes.. If i had a choice to make it all right. I am blind to find the way. I have nothing to say. God guide me.Sweet like honey, the sun rays albeit effulgent my room walls. I sit and soak the morning sun. Listening to Jam Balaya by Jhonny Russell all these while. I got some pent up work. Some sketched figures inside my head need to be strewn on paper. A literature spate wants to exfoliate itself. I am out with a cup of tea now. i am sitting and idling my time . clicking some old photo gallery. When the colour was sepia.. Ah i am engrossed. The chair where i am sitting is damp. Cold to my touch. My memory and your face market sits beside me.. I am been writing for a long using pen and paper. Little blemishes adorning the tip of my fingers. Why is it like that ? when we lose everything at that time we are interested in doing the things to get them back?

And i can understand how far i have gone but still no one is there for me to wait by. Silence but not solitude engulfs me. `you win my love`by shaina twain is the perfect song that is on my mind now. Anyway many rustling thoughts . Sieved few moments which worth’s some thought symmetry. The leave fallen from the tree and creaking as people walk by. I am thinking whose fault is that? Leaves? Or the tree? leaves who fell down from the tree or the tree which couldn’t hold it for long. I am convinced to accept its the law. One day or the other everybody have to go through such. Such is the law of nature. The existence .There is a taciturn ache pulsating through my bones. It could be because of all the writing/reading I did. But I think it's the coldness i have. It is somehow good that it reminds me of many things that i did. But i am still so cold. A world so cold.