Thoughts drainage

1) Oh boy i always wanted to grow old so that people will take me seriously. As a kid people used to think wht a lunatic he is , and i never liked or wanted to be labelled as such. I never pushed my limits to be a maverick. Always focused on the things which mean nothing. I mulled over things which means nothing and i got nothing. some way or the other doing `nothing `made me happy. Still i am rummaging for that NOTHING. I am still encapsulated with the things that means nothing. I am very much aware where i will land up in later run of life. Nothing is all around us. Right now am scammed with such nothingness. My brain is kind free tonight ..i can think ..Wonder!!
2)I feel awkward of myself when i thing about it. I do pride myself for being an `insignificant person`. End of all, what we all seek. In a world so cold, we just seek a warm person. Lol feels like writing my heart out . but i won`t. I am feeling very pep now. Like am hot and feeling like calling everyone and yelling ~pour some sugar on me in the name of love~ no no no no no..*listening to Def Leppard* haha joe Elliot is cool. Love is like a bomb ,come baby get it on..haha..come on sugar me sweet. Lmao.
Let me play with my thoughts- fuck why am writing all these.
I have no intention for falling for you. Naturally i am getting closer to you. Sweet talks still lingers inside my head. I don`t know what all these. It`s the first time you are in a row where my heart is pounding. I don’t know how to apologies for what i feel about you. When i hold my cell phone and hear your voice . i hold is so close ,wish i could i hear the words that on your mind. I love the sweet talks, though it means nothing. I don’t know what games is been played by life. Oh cupid don’t say you played your favourite game at my expense. Each time i look into your eyes, it seems i am a state of eternity. So divine and so succulent. Where ever you talk ,a unfamiliar feelings sneak through my heart window and forms a avalanche of tickling joy. With time the hunger increases. Always looking on cell phone for a sign, that you think about me. Oh i am feeling so ashamed of myself. I still have the email you wrote to me. Entitled~ letter i can`t post~. Those chat ,those sweet talks. In the end all the word, as i read re-read re-read. Only words i have to charm you. Time feels heaved with malice when we say a good bye. Every min seems like a eternity when we are not close or talk. Time is heavy with malice and slowly crept by. I look at your image, but i miss the sweet talks. I never have any one so delicious like you. I have nothing to give you. We are so close ,still so far way . December is coming to an end hope the next month brings something good for me. I have never experience such nothingness and void when you are not close. I become unbearable sad. Depressed and thing about it. I know we can never be together. A factor `nothingness` will always hang on us. I am wrapped up in a blanket of my self-guilt. My foibles of many parameter will always we be dangled upon my personality.

3) literally i did nothing today,from 4 pm i was just dallying and i could see the sunlight flipping its wings and giving a way to dusk to stealthily walk in. I was just sitting on my chair ,legs propped to the table and listening to Rolling Stones ,Mick Jagger ,Keith Urban,Roonie Wood and Charlie watto are doyens of rock & roll. They are not my personal favourite but for the mood i played them. Their music is lively and pep which always demand something from you. Blue licks and some kinda juvenility squash your head. I turned off my music player (funny one). I don’t have a rich player or any Boss or Sennheiser or westone earphones even..but i some kinda like it. Small yet kicking.
I was really peckish , not a nibble had found its way to my girth shaped tummy . i chided in jeans and tshirt ,yanked my wallet from collage satchel and inched towards Munna. On the way i met lalit , he had bread and tea.while i gorge for scrambled eggs and bread(10 breads).. May be after listening to Beacon by Rolling stones my stomach demands it. Ookay one girl clothed in red top and a guy with a pony tail were pain in ass. Guy was okay ..dude type ka tha..but that girl was more or less a revised version of Dolly Bindra. You can crow about her but you can`t avoid. She was like chapppparrr chapppar non-stop till the time we were sitting. Seriously that guy deserves accolades for such a deft and keeping his clam and listing to that fretful girl.. she was like a hook..she was talking about her relatives wedding..how she picked up saree and what she did and what not..blah blah..why on earth anyyone would be so interested to know what she did..i eloped asap after a ten ton heavy supper . Sufficient enough that i missed my dinner. From morning i ate nothing and till now my stomach is counting those eggs and breads. After that i met amey in Munna. Sometime i wonder amey spend most of the time at Munna or what. Amey and one guy named Seth are omnipresent.i find them everywhere. I was lost and dispirited . Melancholy really weighed me down. So for a change i went out with Amey . I grope for some quality books . i got two books for 200 rupees. While returning back Vashali joined us .. We chatted and returned back.. With many silhouettes inside my head about life and all.. How motivated all are and am 180 degree different. My confidence thinned out . what will happen to me. Sadness again streamed in. I was sitting inside a dark room. Thinking.
After some time Flesh (Suman) called me and told me that by januray we will be launching our webcomics www.generationirony.com ..wish we could so some podcasting many be later. I really want this website to form up.. I need something to live for. Else i will be just a victim of unexpected things cropping in life ,just uncalled. A job..Which we guys get just to eke out a living..drudgery 9-6 pm workshift and office fucking grid . i know my life will be fucked once am out of ICT.All these thoughts really freaks me out. Two more years and i will be dilapidated by my own self loathing job life.
4)Right now its dark outside and just finished four chapter from a Sudha Murthy book `A salute to life`..it`s a collection of many anecdotal incident . About her life and her peers and other ally which have touched her life in many ways. another book from the streets. --Vs Naipul The loss of el Dorado. I am new to VS NAIPUL work. Heard a lot about his work. Really never cared to discover his work ..or may be i was too lazy to put my hands upon him. So i got that . i know i wont be able to foray his work till next year. Its December and many other plumbing stuffs will be creeping in.
5) its 11.32 and now am sipping a tasteless coffee. I don`t know what to write next. My brain cells are not kicking in *blank like ape expression*. Right now i am too tardy to type much. I will resume to my sudha murthy book then..
Good night dear blog!!