Great Utterance

To Ruth Veiphei
Every day is endless dream of magazine,novels,music and beer. Morning beauty got no songs to ask me anything. I stand by the window, I feel the sweet breeze taking to me but I am quite redundant to reply back. The glisten dew drops by the leaves and the foliage by the streets is soothing. The crunch I hold up, wish I could build a bridge between my windows and reach for the morning view. I always want to wake up to the nature site. Wish I could be a kid again with that dirty pocket full with marble and mumble as I walk by the hazy days of childhood. When colour was sepia and vision was free. Right now I can feel my youth smouldering, like my childhood. Singing by the willows and fishing by the pond. Carefree and full of life. Maggot brain which no more I can tolerate. I can`t walk down by the streets without thinking. I can’t taste my sunshine with joy .With that same innocence .No one is interested in taking on any of the mighty cornerstones of my life seriously. I try to listen to all the songs you try to sing. That`s what I want to do. I was just waiting outside. I was waiting for you to arrive. Calmly waiting by the shore, but you can`t hear me screaming from inside. Always waiting outside. Waiting for your sweet sunshine to touch my shore. The evening carries me away to another off-shore. From that cusp I still dream of you whole night. I do care. uff , they complain about my irrational thinking. I feel bad. They roll their eyes over infatuation with vulgarity, I feel bad. Everything is so known still I can’t find resonance with the known face. Oh you know I feel so bored with the mask you wear. So much respect in your voice. The tales by the dusk make my heart pound. Again and again it seems I know. But why everyone is busy wearing a mask as they don’t bother. As I look back to the days bygone, I feel so pleased. The anger was coming near .words were finding its way .All these while I was busy making an album, so nicely stacking inside my head compartments .sweet image of yours with my image. The moment spend with you, i still cherish. I am lost in my search to find you. The love I need to show will still with me .So many songs I have sang for you.
Only thinking about you I spend my whole day. I don’t know why I don’t get time to think about someone else. Each of my tune, you will dance out, soul out. I will play my flute with my heart. By the step of clock I am lying, thinking. I am lost in my own geographical ways and dust of your remembrance has formed a layer. For some many season I have wasted my youth. It is a difficult thing to define one`s self and with a discerning eye. The way I think, the way I feel about you. "Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow has not yet come. We have only today. Let us begin." I don’t know how to follow this adage. I am too coward. Tooo sheepish bonded to my own trajectories.
Some of my little tendencies and quirks are not even aware to you. But I can wager SOMEONE is. Nothing more nothing less. To dig for the `real me` out of the real me is a demanding task in itself .For ,I like to hide in the crevices of your mind where I want you to run your wild goose to search for me. Let your imagination runs feral and let reality obscure. I am jagged .I don’t want to snub you with the way I think . I feel. I live I Love. My life has been jagged. My trail flawed and crooked. I have cried many tears. Lived a rustic life. I am not here to impress you. There are lies; to you i will be true. Time has come to make you believe me. There are changes of colour in me now. I do not wish to awe you with any magic tricks. Can you try? A visionary snuffing your sense. Running in the broad way of my arid heart. My soul is dark. I am forever indebted to an alternate life. I have walked so far ,now am near to you. I changed long ago. I have given you all authority to paint a picture of me,. To show me a little piece of your world. I am a most enthusiastic individual who often makes others smile. Make a smile arc in your face. I trotted a lot, now let me sit and talk to you. I rant, i mooch just to fill my head, as it is empty and I can’t stop thinking about you. I tend to be emotionally charged; everything I feel seems to be magnified. Too much fifing for you will sure make me sad. Fuck. Suffice it .You knows am not outspoken and opinionated sometimes to my own detriment. Sometimes my pride and feelings get in the way. I wonder will my simple art of writing will do any marvel. Will it be deep .Will it crop inside your head. Gain the innocuous sounding meaning