Deity Thoughts

I woke up like sprightly yellow daffodils awake. I woke up with a weary head..my dishevelled hair seemed like each hair was combating with each other. I decked up in a blue shirt and jeans. I was forced to unfurl myself to the sunlight, though i wasn`t at all in a pep to drive myself to the threshold of my Polymer department. Why should i go to place which don’t lure me? i was asked to come for Dusshrea celebration .I am a atheist, sometime agonistic. And most of the time I am profane. I never understood why mortal worship.The more i study religion the more am convinced that men never worship anything but himself. Its like a puzzling interplay which fiends my mental chrome every now and then . Am not a religious zealot to blindly follow what my head don’t want me to.I am a rational thinker and i need points which could sync with everything.. I am not conditioned like other kids,who follow everything their parents inundate their head with .Me on my brain. My brain on others. Both are two different things . Others eyes on me. i eye them. I (eye) realise / real (eyes). What was i doing on such a ascetic place.i had a lot of things going around to crow about. I don`t think that was a pious place either.everyone was romping doing many things which were not relevant either. Half of them or most of them were just blind followers..Each thing is believed to be a harbinger of some good proceedings’. That i believe. My department nexus was good. My rapport with my batch mates is good as far as i know. Most of them have an envisage about me as a insincere bloke . i was not attentive . i was not good with my assignments . i will flung in my mid term. i will try to be good in due course so that they don`t churn any uncanny knack of dabbling towards my indifference .anyway back to the nexus,some seniors MTECH & P.Hd tried some conducting session where we junior had to showcase our talents which we harboured. They tried to bandwidth the ambit of rapport between we people.its good. Me on my lack of focus. Me on my boredom during the nexus. Me on the pressure inside my head.i was been subjected to hell lotta entropy and i wasn`t pleased.Some senior were skeptical as they were carrying a bullshit stance about themselves. Actually its common among many ICTi-an to carry their stance on their shoulders.i was made to sing. And i sang. So much time had passed between all of us and i began to feel disturbed now. It was a situation more of a gormless type .Despite the dive-bombs, I still tried to get in good with all. I put a fake smell . That ended me being a lobcock , bored..As i am hunching infront of my laptop and typing all these. I kinda flashbacked self, where colour was sepia.How Durga pooja used to be in Guwahati .What`s the difference between Durga Puja and Dushrea. First time i celebrated something like this.A demo-version type though. Many emotions and feelings are now encapsulating me and starting to make a mosaics. I miss my Mum and my family now. It’s been 1.5 years i haven’t been to my domicile. My beloved Guwahati. My mother didn’t pamper me, like most cats. But cared /care about me.. How sometimes she stroked my t-shirt gently. On my second stroke she hissed and swiped at my face. I reacted and yelled, swiping at her face. We sat eye to eye and declared war.lol i used to get annoyed. Mother can be bug-bear sometimes. And chewing my head seems to be my sister favourite past time. Whenever my sister STD call wings and stalk my phone . i am dumb-folded. I knew she is going to ask me myriad of questions... like blah blah blah blah... Like from food to every thing. If i say i am dodging up!! she will say I’m calling you not the vice versa.SO TALK
Anyway never mind.
People who loves you ,cares about you unfurl a happy yellow fan within your soul and life. And in return you spread happiness at day break. But now am intoxicated with thoughts; uff i mean the things, Grrr i mean the deity thought.. at last bliss they gave in pensive hours, i was hungry and my belly was reading zero bites(bytes). Pugnacious rats were running like manic inside my tummy at that time.. Something was bothering my stomach and i really need something to gorge for.

I drink heavily some thoughts about something at that time and i headed to where food was served.. Sorry it took a while to update that. My taste buds were now diagonally parked and i ddidnt bother about taste and all.. my inner glutton was roaring and i needed stuffs to make him happy.food is pretty nonspecific .i cant name each of the food delicacies . The gourmet looked scrumptious .My eyes were eating rather then my mouth. substantiates my hunger. Thank God, it appeared/tasted - not much spicy gourmet... It's such a weird thing to try and explain to people, even those closest to me, how bored I was after all those things which juxtaposed or physical activities .At last it ended. It sounds as if I am just some lazy guy who wants to do nothing but get high on the couch and watch reality television or sit duck infornt of my juggler box :P lol
...oh shit...maybe I am lazy. Yeah am . i love my room. This room seems like a extended version of me. I got things which i love, my things. I do like a good company. I like to gel with people who come from the same slot of society. But i do have a respect for the people who fringe dwell from other slots.. all are lovely, all are good.. this world is so b`ful because we all are different. I don’t live in a isolated German bunker . i do gel. Am not plastic. But people from my batch don’t mince with this thought of mine. We all have opposite pocket qualities. Its repugnant to bleak out what inside me. But am streaming down all those things with honesty . I AM BORED most of the time i am like hiding like a sun hating earthworm .
But this fatigue is different. It's debilitating and it screws up my emotions.i want a life now. It allows weird , disturbing thoughts to enter my head with ease. It's like my emotional defenses are down once the fatigue sets in. I need a assiduous preparation . i need something substantial to dig myself into..but boredom is like a menace that has eaten the entrails of my head. I cant think . i cant be creative.

For instance, I happened to be on the couch(i mean bed) foraying Internet . i read about Facebook status. A group of moron found out that have a knack for stupidity. Big news!!!!!!!. They cheered and hugged each other and tagging each other. And it makes me more morose . People around seems to have a good life . some left India to the promise of good education and some are having pooja in Guwahti .while I sat here crying from excitement. God!!!!!

I told this to a friend and the immediate response was: "Mera bhi kuch aisa hi hai." If everyone is sad who is gay then??


It's pretty sad. I don’t have work apart from watching videos whole day in youtube and dallying with my time with my roommate in Munna canteen .people around things i will open to them for celebrating some good news.i am sick idling my time .i need a sane group.and its been a long time i haven’t wrote anything for my blog. . Now what am I talking about?*scratching head* actually am at a topic dearth . so i am just writing what my gray cells are commanding to my fingers . I'm talking about words and how this feels like an pulsating lifeless zombie across the page. Im coming in hard on this one.im submerge in madness ..its turns up out, my core competencies are snuggling and yawing whole night in front of laptop watching movies and proving myself to be vigil idiot.. and resulting a whole day sleep . it seems to be a daily dose of reality now.back to reality now with force from lightning to make some sense... I'm realizing now that there is room for this in my life. I lay crouched, hidden from your sight, culminating many facts about today and past life of sensory experience. my life is kinda okay though i have nothing to marvel about.