i refuse to live

as i close my eyes and soak my pain without a elicit

a new of sanguine seed of paronia creeps in

like an anointing blister its escalating

a life that seems incurable disease to me now

each day combating with the melancholy

each fucking second looking at my rotten self

i stink myself

an aversion to this living grave

my own built denial sanatorium

my inner maggots has ripped me off now

i hew my organs and i can read the cryptic message

how confusing those meaning are nailed

i see with myself

all i can see is liver, kidney blood

Where the fuck are emotions

no more

i refuse to stand i refuse to fight i refuse to live

the whole existence of me, a disrespect to the myself

i am broken to pieces by the stones of you hatred

all life i live but hate consumed me at the end.

this malady is incurable

manipulated in a way that is more of a fucking snap

i was dazzled by the star of you once ..but no more

a medley crafted in such a soothing way ..but no more

rest now is a wretched extant of mine.

im shredding self