Ether

Another year folds itself ,sublimating a lot of things and memories and resentment .Some sweet thoughts and cart loads of regrets . Its new year eve and i am swamped in my chair .legs propped on the table and typing these.In a world so cold,internet is a warming and darling friend. Half of the December people were busy asking me about my new year`s plan. where are you going to celebrate new year`s eve or you are going to stay alone this time too. The first question comes from people who hardly knows me and the later from the people who knows me and always want to discover me. i dunno wanna pout my skeptical face again . Its there inquisitive nature. Its common to brew curiosity. Its not like people don't call me to spend time with them. Seriously NO i don`t wanna adept myself as a people`s guy.Just that i want to be alone this evening. Some of their lame lines and lame jokes make me more squeamish then i am before. I prefer to put my head inside an empty drum and yell and listen to my own echo rather than listening to those twat`s talk. but these people are really some of the wonderful people i have ever meet and they are so caring to me. Its not i am talking cranky pills and talking. It just real me. I am like the way i am . May be i am too paranoid for myself. Anyway there is no point of masquerading about it. I watched some of my all time romantic movies again. Bridget Jones Dairy and High Fidelity . perfect for the mood . I think its high time when i should be focusing on my virtues. I listed out some vital things which i need to achieve anyhow for myself and for people around who cares.And for people who labelled me as a loser. i wont dribble terrible things much on the things i don't have or things i can`t afford. i have to make the best use of the things i have. i will try to kill my ego as far i can. i wanna breathe and bloom . i don`t want the ugly head of ego to encumbrance me . i will not try to post any of my nihilistic drivel . i want my social life to burgeon from now on. i will think positive and i try to make myself happy. there is no point in juxtaposing nebulous and murky layers in me. i will be true to my belief which i am been deluding from ages. i know my strength and i will prowess each and every thing. i will feed myself with more pabulum and i will make good things out of me. some of the resolution which i need to work on are- ->firstly my web comics Generation Irony project. i want it to born and i will see it grow. From business or from fun point of view its important. i need to complete my novel which i am procrastinating from a long time. The old writing bug have spate and its in full spree now. Hopefully i will get time to meet my family by mid of this January . i haven`t meet my mother ,sister and brother in-law and two little devil . i want to read some good books this year.i want to helpful for the needy and hope God gives me the strength to face much of the adversities. i am a man of simple desires and i don`t want much . But for some reason i am thinking a lot. i want to exploit my hidden power and wanna see what i can do with it. just for a change. i must give it a try. i know my strength very well and my weakness too. i am no more a confused guy. confusion is a good thing though ,to find the answer we travel more within ourselves and we learn a lot. i will focus more on the spiritual side of me ,demystifying self. not like a ether sensation ,i want this unnamed burgeon feeling to last. hope the word i used get clawed through out the year.. anyway i wont mar this column much. I am in no mood to write now. cheers and have a good year ahead.