inner voices

Trying hard to write what is within me.im hearing voices and i hope my brain power allows me to put them into words.im looking at this box for like half an hour an sorting out what to write.how to get an inceptionwhat i have achieved and i have lost in finding those.in the venture oof life to add things in the kettle of fish i have lost a lot.im not blessed like my counterparts.got nothing as a patrimony else my life could have been more pretty to me..I dunno whats going on in the mere futility of wat could be called my life.This banal existence has been far too dreadful for it to be a memorable experience. Experiencin a life such as this has spurned me into believin a life full of negativity and failure!!!!!!!!! i dunno how to unfurl myself.but lemme try.let my words sink deep within.When did we forget our dreams? The infinite possibilities that each day holds should stagger the mind. The shear number of experiences I could have is uncountable, breathtaking, and I'm sitting here pressing F5. We live in loops, reliving a few days over and over, and we envision only a few paths ahead of us. We see the same things each day, respond the same way, we think the same thoughts, every day a slight variation on the last, every moment smoothly following the gentle curve of societal norms. We act like if we can just get through today, our dreams will come back to us. And no, I don't have all the answers. I don't know how to jolt myself into seeing what each moment could become. But I do know one thing: The solution doesn't involve watering down my every little idea and creative impulse for the sake of someday erasing my fit into a mold. It doesn't involve tempering my life to better fit someone's expectations. It doesn't involve constantly holding back for fear of shaking things up. This is very important so i want to say it as clearly as I can : FUCK. THAT. SHIT. People concern themselves with being normal, rather than natural. I'm not normal. Normality is an illusion. .: As we do at such times, I turned on myself and went through the motions of normalcy on the outside, so that I could concentrate all my powers on surviving the near-mortal wound inside. I'll be {RANDOM} but there's not such thing as random as it all comes out of somewhere. Some memory. “Creativity is the ability to introduce order into the randomness of nature. Life has no meaning the moment you lose the illusion of being eternal. That's sort of what I believe in. But maybe living in the moment is the meaning of "LIFE".SAMSARA(continous motion) is what im hooked to now..a line which holds true to my ground. I like to think things through, and decide if they're worth the second. Ha... :) Reminded of anything? I try to sort it out... Mess is fun though :) But in the end you'll have to decide between whats right and what's easy. Oh...Ladies and Gentlemen, get cracking for my favorite quote: After all, to the well organized mind, death is just another great adventure. There comes a point in your life when you realize who matters, who never did, who won't anymore, and who always will so don't worry about the people from your past...there's a reason why they didn't make it to your future.Maybe it's all because you can never plan the future by the past. And because to die is too much of an adventure, I'll live forever. I just have nothing to say most of the time. But when I do participate in conversation, I'm an open book (reasonably speaking) and I like questions. They're pretty direct and to the point. I'm blunt (sometimes), but polite. I don't understand this "brutally honest" bullshit,. I befriend those of all shapes, sizes, colors, genres, and beliefs, provided they're not some cookie-cutter copy and have something interesting to say. You never know what you can learn. I don't live some extraordinary life; I'm pretty average, I suppose, and I'm content with it. I can be goofy, but I know how to be serious [when the situation calls for it]. I don't think there needs to be a reason for everything. I donno what I could say that couldn't be judged as this or that. So, basically I'm going to say… Fu in advanced, for the possibility of chocking me up to a simple word, and putting me into standardized totalitarianism box