Lavatory Anathema

Lavatory Anathema

A feeling that is inexplicably a pain but when its over it gives real pleasure.. A wincing followed gesture in lavatory can really make you happy sometimes when you give your best. :P

This feeling is more of a torment rather than a joy, I confess it by the thousand arms of Vishnu that it happened to me..i don’t know how much of you out there have ever came across such clouds of tormenting experience..but im sure everyone have faced it one time or the other many people shy away from accepting such facts. But mine was too extreme. But this detested thing had happened like many times in my life.. i would like to share something funny with a blend of shame stitched to it today.. it really happened to me ..it’s hard to gross out such stuffs but its surely coming out from the vary mouth of the victimized person and i m not at all feeling privileged to call myself that victim. So I’m trading this bitter yet memorable experience to you all..and i know this webpage will live on after my body is ravaged. But it will be available to you all .

Last night- i used to take every night thirty rupees meal thali in one hotel, but last night meal sucked up nuts. The chapattis tasted like my grandpa feet and the rice was so soggy that one can easily squeezed out the excessive water ..im so dispirited to see that crap food..(P.S that is not my daily grouses about food at that hotel).me and my friend decided to call off from that hotel .

last night i decided to make myself feel stuffed with some good Marathi cuisine. So me and my friend rushed to the near by restaurant cum bar for some gourmet.

A skinny lad came near to us with a Menu card in his hand. My friend took that card from him to order the food items, but i snatched it from his hand wearing a devil-may-look..he asked what??

Let me order in a bossy attitude i said as if i was going to pay the bill at last which so surreal, if he felt so..it was TTMM (tut era me mera)system..

Bring Kolhapuri chicken plus Kentucky and tandoori rotis with skimmed butter on top .i said to that lad.

Lets have some () first my friend asked in a mellow voice

I said fine in no defence

~hey , ------ ..and please bring the food quickly~ i asked that restaurant lad again

He got us what ------ we ordered..i and my friend raised our goblet of --- and said ---..i took few swigs and kept the (----------). and my friend was reluctant to his consumption..like within 10 mins i finished mine . i know my guzzle for () demands some accolades :P

But for the time being lets keep it aside.

After 15 mins food was on the table and my friend was still struggling hard to finish his ()

Can we start i asked him..he said yes..thank god i dint have to coax to get a positive response was starving and i was dying to board the food train.

I ask the lad to serve the food items on our plates .he served it with allegiance..he left the Kentucky untouched. The sliced onion (kanda) we really adding adorn to the roasted chicken pieces..me and my friend first took one one piece from that embellished dish.. i must add it was heavenly tasty..my friend had () add more beauty to it and i had nothing. But i didn’t care. I dug myself to the food. Tandoori roti was soft and i consumed it with a repose. And we finished our meal soon as we were hungry. .the bill for 610 rupees. And i look at my friend and said don’t be so hard on yourself ,just take out 300 rupees..Glad i didn’t have to rub him much to loosen up his wallet ..He did as i said. Im left with only 30 rupees now in my jeans trouser. It was 9:30 pm and the food really made me derogated.. all i could wish at that time on earth was my bed..i was so full. We walked to our rooms .my room was a bit far from my friends so it seemed like a neplusltra to me at the time. But i had to walk for my gutted body..as i reached home, i just threw myself on the bed and bouts of slumber took me away within few moment. Maybe beer played its role well..

I woke up like 6 o`clock and headed to the lavatory and found what NO WATER(yeah yeah i know you cant find No water..) yes NO WATERRRRR..see my plight..Maa galis jarred out of my mouth. Still i opened the tap two more times. .Fluid dynamics didn’t played any role. .still I opened it two times..damn no flux after this silly paltry try..i dialled my friend`s number and called him..Yeah the same one with whom i shared the dinner last night..Kolhapuri chicken`s chillness was vying to bid off a farewell as a humanure .but..

I asked him.. got water??

He said he had but he finished it prior to my phone call .i had no options rather then calling my other friends.

i called again one of my friend staying near by and asked about the avaibility of water . he said he had half filled bucket of water which he had used five mins prior to the phone call. Again i said damn to the nature calls which was hitch hiking inside me..i couldn’t think of anything else. The inside turmoil was grabbing all my attention..i hurriedly called my other friend, staying in my locality .he said to come and get fresh but that jackass didn’t tell me about the forthcoming troublesome. I ran hurriedly to his room which was like 10 mins walk from mine, putting some fake relief on my face... But i had no insight that my joy will be turned into a fallacy. As i opened his door all i could see was my friend reading his daily TOI. I said hi! And without waiting for his reflexes to reply back. i rushed to his bathroom cum lavatory. But to my aghast two guys were already waiting for their turns. I had no time to look who they were or had time to understand their INTERNAL belly dynamics. All i cared was my six degree of inner turbulence..i couldn’t take this inner tandav..i decided to elope as soon as possible without thinking what to do next. My friend said what? Are you leaving? I traded a fake smile and said yes ..as i was outside his room,a thought pinged into my head .i saw a hawker selling newspaper..i don’t know whether i had any penny or not. i inserted my hand and found thirty rupees. i thanked God. But i should have thanked myself,as i was wearing last night jeans. But for that moment i was happy to get those money . my inner turbulence was escalating.. i bought TOI..i thought of running to the shrubs and practise ~sit and shit concept~ under neele gagan ka tala and using the newspaper to clean the performer from where it comes out.. but my head was coiled with disgust to do so,i killed that idea inside my head.. And i tooled down to a restaurant where i could see some bisleri bottle.Ahhhh i was happy as if i found a new joy...now what?? I asked for two bottles.. and i said i had only 27 rupees.. to add more mud to my joy.. he said two bottle costs for 30 and he will not give it to me unless i pay him full..Ahh the marking says 12 each how can you take 15 per bottle.. i said you people will never understand other feelings ..The shop owner gave a devil-may-care look.. He didn’t give a damn to feeling word..even i didn’t give a damn as i my inner turbulence was in a drooling spree to give me a big deal ...so i bought one bottle and headed towards my room with a speed..and i happily did it in my own filthy unclean lavatory and washed my performer with Bisleri.. the very meaning of a mineral water became emptied that morning ..really what a start to a great day ahead.