leaps

Musty cell and noisy streets was distressing me and I want to come out from that cocoon. The room was too choking now .I wanted a change from all those things that used to haunt me. After my office the room had proved to be a host for my colleague who came and discussed everything from official talk to vulgar ones which was not at all welcomed by me. I don’t want to sound like a social outcast to deny them from coming. I had already faced a lot of crap so it better not to get them more. I couldn’t sound harsh or rude in behaving after all one-third of my day would be passed with their company only...I wanted more time for my desolate existence. I wanted to stay alone for some days but in the presence of my friends it was not at all happening. Most of them were married and their places can’t be a place for such gossips. After office hours I had started my search for a new room a bit far away office. Every evening after work I used to grope for room...I saw many rooms some reasonable, some posh one too...but what got my attention was one room a bit far away from the city...the room had a ceiling at the apex which was whitewashed. A single room with and a cluttered kitchen with a cemented slab and a water basin. It turned red form its greyish cement colour due to the iron content in the water... Perfect for me. The window was bolted with a barricade of grill which some metal leaves had painted green soldered to it. To one corner a wooden rack was placed which some old rages and little old newspaper had turned yellow...perfect exempli of thermo oxidative reactions. Some terracotta articles hanged by the side of the window which were totally useless for my edifice. Outside the window a money plant could be seen creped with a help of a spindling trellis with some other plants. A black steel chair too scaffold by the corner and a wooden bed by the dark corner of the room... These furniture’s were ornamented the room. A bulb place above the entrance door and by to it right switched was there... the door was incredibly hard which dint open with an ease. But it goes smooth with me.
Three rooms were for rented straight in a row. The last from was taken by a couple while seeing the room a caught an eye with the lady. She walked in such a killing gait in the soil she was delving that defines her haste towards some mysterious radiance.
She tucked up her abundant hair with a cue-tip from where soft strands of hair were escaping to heartthrob any young man desires. It would be wrong to say about married women in such way but I couldn’t stop my mind from having those. I was admired and there nothing wrong in doing that as far it’s within us.
~so are you coming to take this the lady asked the she came out the room
~yeah. Planning so ~ I don’t know what to say so words slipped of its own. I had to reply, it’s something basic etiquette's.
~so you are coming alone~
~yes. Why? ~it sprung idiotically through my head. Later I realised that was not
~nah just like that~infancly she replied.
~its ok. Nevermind. So who stays in the middle room~
~no one its empty? The earlier family left few days back. They wanted more area~~
~which room you are going to take~
~the corner room. By the way im dilip...I work in the STATEFED .I bobbed up to introduce myself and I subdued with a brief description of myself. She smiled and glowed portentously.
~ I am lahki, my husband bapon is a librarian in river side school. ~
~ nice to know about you~
.it was really nice to know about that family than. I choose the corner one as it looked quite ok .bathroom were at the other end and a hand pump for water. A tried to draw water so handled the shaft, it was too tight tough so demanded a bit effort. The water was quite smelly but the owner said to use a handmade filter. I could already see a version of it. Gravel, sand, coal in a mustard oil can was used in architecture such filter. So I had to make one. There were three such filters lied up in a row maybe left by the families who earlier lived. It was quite absurd why the lady owner asked for any filter. Seemed like she is going to exhibit those and the best will be an awarded. Another more made filter to make the row longer. It made me laugh.
The area was free from much surrounding residences and it merely 15 minutes walk to the bus-stop. The ally to the bus-stop was a beauty in it seemed like it been carved from the woods. The house owner was a lady and a widow. May be she was in her late 70`s. house rent was 200 rupees and she gave two three notification before renting it to me. One monthly rent before 10th of every month and no lady in the room. I was comfortable with both her amendments which ought to be followed by me. Money was not at all an issue but lady was what I had planned no more to seek.
I had already paid 200 as advance money to that lady and asked her regarding my shifting of room this Saturday. And she made no offence to my words. I was too buzzed up as too keen for a change. An alternation from the monotonous routine.
I haven’t said any of my colleagues regarding my shifting though I would be needing some assistance from them. But I was too reluctant to take help. So I kept to myself and thought of some labours help while shifting stuffs though I only a bed and a table in sake to name them as furniture and a radio and few cloths. That’s it.
This Saturday was an official leave for second Saturday so it sounds ok to dedicate it name of shifting.
Saturday has final knocked and it was time for shifting. I took an auto as it was equally spacious for my stuffs.
It was Saturday; I lied in bed until my head tends to become heavy. Finally got up but this head tends to stuck me. I shifted by the mid-day. When I’m done Bapon and lakhi got in and darted expertly about the room as an x-ray machine. Bapon face was gleaming in day light and forward his hand for a handshake. I too forwarded mine for the same. While lakhi stranded.
~does it look to messy because of the arrangement~ I look to them with a coral orifice shaped mouth.
~its ok...you could have asked for my help~ bapon said labouring to move the curtain that had some flowery patterns.
~I hardly have any stuffs just few cloths and an old radio. Rest the necessary furniture’s were already available and no cooking utensils though as I take food outside. Cooking and the washing are really pain-taking. ~
~ you need to get a wife then~
`I went numb again somebody had again cease to poke tongue into my wounds. Things whose answer I don’t want to share. It hurts to even recall them. If I would say bapon the reason why I don’t want to get married then a squeal of question will follow. The very reason for my anguish... in the midst of the conversation I tried to gear up to some other topic.
~wife in lieu of hotel food~ I stated with a triumphant laugh and stretched.
~ Why you want to eat in hotel through your life. Marriage is just a step to climb a social ladder. Children are signs of your progress to other step else you slide down .it’s a divine feeling you? ~ bapon said
~what If I refuse to climb that and stay at the ground. Will I not be happy? ~ I don’t know what I was saying but I had to sound quite bold so I replied in that manner. Though I was not confident in my answer but I dint let him feel so. He could have contradicted me in my ways but he didn’t. I knew he could had talked about sexual desires but he didn’t touched those topic as it was first meeting and one can’t be sarcastic in his words.
~ It’s up to you~
~ we are here always if get fed up with the hotel food. Just get yourself invite beforehand. We can’t see you always standing at the bottom of the ladder~ he giggled.
~ thanks for hospitality~
the house owner too poked in to see my shifted room. She too had no one to look after her. A widow and a mother of a doctor daughter who had shifted to another place with her husband and left her. Her daughter does make some weekly visit but I don’t know why she doesn’t force her to stay with her. People behaviour is too circuiting to understand...She had a maid servant who looks after her and her health. She had been staying with her since her childhood. Really how suppressing to know how are fabric of life is been coloured. Some have the entire bright colour while other has no colour at all. She had no other choice then to live this lifeless life. I didn’t show much interest in her life.
I want to get isolation as much as I could. I had started to keep myself as busy I could to forgot the scar of the past. Idle time haunts me that pain. Even now hated to mingle much with Bapon and Lakhi. And their repeated offering of tea too pinched me as it showed much pathetic side of me. Days passed by and I was quite able to cut all the social relation. I used to work in office till late and its only room to office and office to room. I suffered from insomnia and relied on pills for a sound sleep... but I guess had some other plans for me. I was breaking down due to much deprecations and deterioration was quite escalating. I was looking much older then I was. Improper food habits and improper had made me suffer. Bapon sometimes asked me about my change of behaviour my looking at my face. And I always denied by as I was like that only and I was fine. I was living on health pills. Now I had to skip office work as I couldn’t work also. Afternoon and night meal too became quite periodic negligence as I had to go to hotel for that and I couldn’t have much stamina for two time meal. Bacon and Lakhi realised about my change and always asked whether I was ok or not. But time came when I could even get up from bed also even for sanitary. Bapon and lakhi took me to the hospital for my check-up and took every basic medical amenity. They took care of my daily medical dose and food. I was given daily breakfast and meals. There self less care helped me to recover soon. To better say I got a reincarnation for this family. They were very happy when I got well. I shameless had to thank them as proved humanity come first then the blood relations. I couldn’t understand how I could pay them back for their favour. Money looks a cheap means to their repay for their doings. Or should I gift them something? But I had no ideas what to? May a dine together. It looks quite nice then they other too at least we all be involved in that.
After I got completely well and could carry out my regular habits I brought meat and fishes and got myself invited for a meal...and they didn’t mind. That day I came to know that lakhi was good in kitchen too.
My barbs after the meal confessed it though words didn’t came out. And we all understood.
~how was the dinner dilip~ bapon
~ really tasty. But all the credits go to lahki. She cooks too well. You’re lucky to have a wife like her~

~ enough of my praising... and remember you have to take care about your food habits from now own. No more of outside food...~ lahki frowned while saying
~ I will see to it~ I said ~\\
~hey I have an idea why don’t you take diner every night with us~ bapon
I don’t know how bapon thought of that. It looks too weird to take diner with a couple who I had known only for last 30 days. And they are inviting me for diner. I was in a state of dilemma how to reply to their proposal. I had to refuse hotel food as it was not good for my health and its only 3 days I have fully recovered and I don’t want to again fell in bed.
~yeah that will good. You really need homemade food~~

~but~ I murmured
~no but it’s done you are taking meal from tomorrow on...~
~I have one condition too~
~yeah and what will that~
~I will shop all the grocery then~
~ fine then its final~
I thought it’s a balanced proposal . At least it looks quite feasible invitation now. Every morning they offered me a delight full breakfast, lunch and dinner. . Life was going well. In the next few days after my stay I learned that surprising a lot of people are there around who know how to establish a relation. That family living one room apart occasionally started to invite me for tea and snacks but it seemed quite awkward to visit them daily. I always had some plans to deny their invitation. It came to my notice that hails from a nearby village; I could get it by their talking accent. I never asked them in person because I don’t want get too grooved to those people who were quite friendlier to me. I wanted to spend most my time alone. Bapon and lakhi the couple I guess knew I had some relation breakdown, may be they assumed it so they showed sympathy on my assortment. It was likely anytime they tried to be nice to me. I do sometime fail to reject them for a cup of tea. And they really proved to be a good host. They started good-good topic in front of the tea table. From politics to movies and bapon really was a man of good taste and quite educated.
Now I found a reason to live whose meaning I tend to forget. Working in office too got a positive vibe. After office hours I used to get some fishes or vegetables for diner. Bapon and lakhi shared jokes and lighter moments with me...bapon had always insisted me to get married but I was too reluctant to heed them. As I was not ready for such a serious relationship...to better say I was afraid of changes. I always used to deny them by saying, after sometime. Time passed and I have developed a serious relationship with that family and a strong bond developed among us. Bapon had left his family with his wife. Earlier he used to do some job in the local post- office as he had passed his matriculation and at our times that was looked upon with great respect. But he quit his job as after his family were harassing his new wedded wife and both of them has to face bitter words from his family. Bapon and lakhi could not take it anymore and one day decided to leave. Bapon that day said in front of his three brothers that he doesn’t need a single inch of his ancestral land. Lakhi was very badly behaved by her sister in-laws when her husband’s used to be out for service. There bitter work forked her all day long. Bapon father and mother were also against them. But they could never found out what was the reason behind it. Even his parents only accepted. Lakhi as their daughter in-law. Nau- bowari (newly wedded bride) have-not got when it was meant to be. Well they guessed she was not good anymore or whatever. But bapon could see all this happening to his wife and decided to leave to guwahati. He was sure to get a job as his qualification couldn’t get unnoticed. Within four days he got a job in a bank. Then after he is living in such a way. Bapon do used to visit his village near mirza. Never used to go to his family. He spend time with his salas and salis .whenever we strum those thread from past sometime. So we tend to avoid them... we always cracked jokes and lighter topics to amuse us.
Lakhi was accepting a baby and we were very happy I couldnt hold my feelings,it never happened to me before as if it was my baby . I was too delighted to name her .her face looked so pure, so unselfish... her septum drooling through her mouth seems like full honey pot tilting. In 1970, their first daughter was born. Relative from lakhi came to visit her. I too took leave for a week. I and bapon looked after the household
Work and let her relax. They asked us to name the baby and I felt so privileged. I felt all my days of melancholy were over and a new chapter of vivid coloured had opened for me. I was lost to my apathy... I named here dupahi. She was growing as the days passed . Most of my evening was passed.
I used to sing her lullaby which I had to learn for her. She refused to sleep with her mother and slept with me. Later for her. She refused to sleep with her. In mind that I need a symbiotic relationship with that family. All through my youth I had suffered and I want it to be different now. There will be times when I want to announce an upcoming event, a breakthrough or change in life which I seek etc. many that could be brought out by this family. I was afraid to lose them. Life only a rhythm and we should know how to make it sound better by using our own words. .we is free to think. We are free to live. I had chosen what I want to do. How that has treated them in the past will affect what kind of coverage I will get and whether it is good or not.
The strumming life can supply us with some very valuable free coverage and coverage that is 3rd hand. This coverage gives credibility to what you are doing or saying.
And should something happen that could be negative, life may write the story whether we cooperate or not. For the most part, it is better to have your comments included rather than them only having half the facts or speculation to go on.

If it is a special event that will last for a long, coffee, treats and smiles go a long way with having them stay and giving good coverage.
This can be a metaphor for many areas in our lives. Ask yourself, “How am I treating the people in my life that can help me the most?
When I was a youth, I received some of the best hurting of the dear ones that I was looking after their doings. I had some people ask me what was wrong with my brother. And this time when they have asked me to share a house I should deny it. Again I don’t feel alone. I am doing so great with such wonderful people around me. And for my own selfless pride I could let them go away from me. I decided no more thinking on such points. It’s now or never.
~ Perfection is infinity and it’s already within us swami Vivekananda. So I will die trying for perfection but will die trying. What we need to sought is what we get. Happiness is just a pursuit who`s mere glance is enough.